Friday, July 1, 2011

Big Daddy's Burgers and Bar - 9070 Research Blvd, Austin, TX 78758

The Bad Boy Grilled Cheese Burger was pretty bad.

Close-up of the Bad Boy Grilled Cheese Burger.  See the wimpy limpy bacon?

The Caucasian milkshake. It had a cherry once.
Much like "Big Daddy" Pollitt of Cat On a Hot Tin Roof hates mendacity, I, too, hate it.  I include people who hide things under the umbrella of mendacity; thus, Big Daddy's Burgers & Bar belongs in that list.

You'll find a short list of frozen drinks that sound incredible, from kahlua and espresso vodka of the Caucasian (still haven't figured out why they gave it that name), to the surprisingly tangy goodness of the frozen screwdriver.  What you WON'T find on this menu is prices.  There's a reason for this.  The reason is that you pretty much have to take out a small loan to afford a drink here.  Seeing the price ahead of time would likely cause you to order a simple iced tea instead.  The frozen screwdriver cost my friend nine bucks.  My Caucasian cost me $12, and it was in a regular pint glass.

Is it worth the $12, Catherine?

Unlike Vincent Vega, I didn't think the shake was "pretty fucking good".  Like Vincent Vega, I didn't think it was worth the money.  It wasn't even worth $5.  I normally like heavy pours, but this was too heavy to enjoy.  It was like they wanted to get me drunk so my taste buds would find just about anything there tasty.  Didn't work, though.  The particular alcohol they used didn't seem to go well with the ice cream.  A $12 adult milkshake will hit you a good hour later and make you realize you've had enough alcohol for the night, though, so perhaps it was slightly worth the price tag in that regard.  My friend said his frozen screwdriver was more like an adult slurpee.  Yeah, that makes sense.  If you have a second one, you'll likely be slurring and peeing yourself.  My friend felt pretty tipsy from the one a couple of hours later.

I ordered the Bad Boy Grilled Cheese Burger, and my friend got the Goodfella burger.  He said his burger was pretty good, but that he wouldn't actively seek it out again.  'Nuff said there, I think.  Mine was great in concept, but poor in execution.  Both our meat patties were vastly overcooked.  It's like, why did the waitress bother frigging asking us how we wanted our patties cooked if the chef was just gonna cook it well-done??  Don't get my hopes up like that, man.  I wanted blood oozing out of that patty, rather than just grease.

Something else wrong with this burger is that the grilled onions didn't dance well with the other ingredients.  The rest of the burger was doing the twist, while the grilled onions were doing the Roger Rabbit.  I guess I should explain what all else comes on this burger:  Top bun is a grilled cheddar cheese sammich with bacon; bottom bun is a grilled cheddar cheese sammich with jalapenos; and a fried egg made an appearance.

The bacon was undercooked and limp.  Ick!  I took it off the sammy.  Also took the jalapenos off the other sammy.  They didn't taste bad, or anything; I just didn't prefer them.  Also scraped off all the onions.  The burger was huge, so at least there was that.  I may have a big mouth sometimes, but it wasn't big enough to shove the burger into, so I had to take knife and fork to it.  No problem.  I got about halfway through it before I got full, which is fine because it just wasn't worth the calories and stomach acid anyway.

This burger cost me fourteen bucks on its own, but I got hit with a $1.50 fee for subbing onion rings for the fries.  The rings were the best things on the plate.  They had a nice kick to them.  The grilled cheese sammiches on their own, minus the wimpy limpy bacon and japs, were pretty tasty.  This meal cost me $28 before tip.  So glad my date paid for his own; I'd have to file for Chapter 7 bankruptcy if I paid for both of us.


  1. If 28 bucks is putting you in the poor-house you have problems man. I mean you should be at home consuming Ramen noodles, not going out and drinking "Caucasians" (which, by the way, is a play on the "White Russian" drink that has Vodka, Khalua and Cream) like in the "The Big Lebowski". Nice review though. I had the same thing when I went there the first time. I couldn't finish it either. The french fries were horrendous (read: dry/dessicated, and hard/hollow). I took my sister and Niece along with the wife and spent 75 bucks all told. That did include a generous tip, but who's counting. All in all, I would not go out of my way to eat there again.

  2. Was joking about Chapter 7 bankruptcy; I'm just cheap, that's all.