Friday, February 25, 2011

Black-Eyed Pea - 9041 Research Blvd, Austin, TX 78758

I grew up eating at Black-Eyed Pea, and my family and I always loved it.  Even as late as a couple of years ago when I worked at Duval and MoPac, I would occasionally eat at this location for a tasty leisurely lunch.  Never had a problem getting back to work within my lunch hour.  Bear that in mind as you read on.

Black-Eyed Pea has since changed their basic concept, and everything else about the restaurant has subsequently gone down the toilet.  Hence, the Pea has become the Poo.

I walked in around 5:30 one recent evening and felt like I was in a Twilight Zone episode.  "Where's the host stand?" I wondered.  I saw a counter section at the far end and proceeded to wander over there to ask if I should just seat myself.  I was told by the sweet counter girl that Black-Eyed Pea is now a counter-service operation.  My heart and mood both sank.  Okay, then... I'll have the Roasted Turkey dinner (comes with cornbread dressing), with broccoli and broccoli/rice casserole.  Counter Girl explained to me that I take a number to put on my table, grab a drink, and plop myself down wherever I want.  She said my waiter's name was Matt, I think.

I grabbed my number and got some tea.  THREE MINUTES LATER, my roasted turkey, cornbread dressing, broccoli, and broccoli/rice casserole arrived at my table, along with cornbread and rolls.  My jaw dropped in further disappointment because this food was obviously prepared ahead of time and microwaved.  There's no possible way it could have been made to order, not if it came out of the kitchen less than five minutes after I ordered it.  Seriously, five minutes from counter to table.  I would expect that had I ordered something like caesar salad, but not roasted turkey.

Someone apparently forgot to nuke the broccoli; it was cold.  Even though the turkey and dressing were warm, I could tell those items had been nuked.  They tasted nuked, for one, and certain areas of the meat and dressing were warmer than other areas, which is a dead giveaway.

Never once saw my "waiter".

I began to say a eulogy for the dearly departed Black-Eyed Pea restaurant chain when the manager, Kevin, happened over to check on me.  I believe his name was Kevin; I might be wrong.  I don't think Kevin was expecting any complaints, but he got some.  I asked when they started the counter-service thing.  The day after Father's Day, 2009, he said.  He went on to explain the reason for the drastic change:  Several people came in at lunch and were pissed because they couldn't drive to the restaurant, get waited on and eat, and drive back to work in thirty minutes.  I was about to point out that they really shouldn't change their restaurant's methods based on a few idiots who have a thirty-minute lunch, being that most of the working class in this country have a full hour for lunch.  I don't care where you eat, you are simply not going to be able to drive there, sit down and be waited on, and drive back to your work place in a half hour.  Before I got to say any of this, however, Kevin mentioned that "everything is freshly cooked in five minutes or less because of the number of cooks [they] now have in the kitchen."  Bullshit.  A well-done sirloin steak -- which they offer, by the way -- takes longer than five minutes to cook.  He obviously thought he was talking to someone with no restaurant experience, otherwise he would have known better than to hand me that line of corporate garbage.  I flat out told him that I worked at Bennigan's for a while last century, so I know all about the pressures of catering to people's lunch hour demands.  Look, I don't like Bennigan's, but at least they used to have a lunch system that worked:  "Crunch Lunch", which meant if you didn't get your food in 15 minutes, it'd be free.  Fifteen minutes, people.  Not five.  And they were smart enough to not promise steaks in fifteen minutes.  Sure, these abbreviated-lunchtime jerks get their Black-Eyed Pea food in five minutes, but it's reheated.

Once I went off -- diplomatically, mind you, I didn't get rude -- about my experience in the restaurant industry, Kevin leveled with me.  He said everyone hates the new system, but it's corporate rule, so they have no choice.  

It is my considered opinion -- and I think anyone else with restaurant experience will agree with me -- that corporate jackasses graduate from college with their restaurant management degrees, and immediately go to work at the corporate level.  It's painfully obvious that none of them have ever waited tables nor played GM at a restaurant.

I predict Black-Eyed Pea will be out of business by the end of 2011. On my way out, I told Kevin and Counter Girl they'd be smart to look for other work.  If the corporate entity is going to ruin your restaurant, what else can you do?

'Twas nice knowin' ya, Black-Eyed Pea! 

Verdict:  Not to eat

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