I absolutely hate twangy country music and/or anything that suggests the City of Dallas or Dallitude. After all, I spent my first twenty-three years living there (minus nine months in N'awlins), so can you blame me for hating it?
Lisa M. told me one of her Meetup groups was going to Dallas Nightclub one certain night, and that a certain nice, stable divorced 36-year-old guy would be there, and she wanted to introduce me to him. Possible love connection beats musical and city hatred, so I RSVPed yes with a different Meetup group that was going.
I was worried I would feel completely out of place at Dallas because of what I was wearing. I don't own spurs, or 10-foot circumference belt buckles, or a ten-gallon hat, or even skinny tight jeans, so I figured I was in trouble wearing bellbottom jeans, stiletto sandals and a come-get-me top. And yet, less than half the people at Dallas Nightclub were dressed like Roy Rogers and Dale Evans. We're off to a good start!
I found Lisa right away, and we each grabbed a drink and settled into a couple of chairs abreast the dance floor. During the next couple of hours, Lisa did the boot-scootin' boogie with a lot of guys. I was amazed that I got asked to dance nine times. Unfortunately, I said no each time. See, really the only partner dance I can do at all well is dirty dancing, and there wasn't any of that going on... not until later, at least. So I had to explain to each potential dance partner that I only dance well alone, and that I have no earthly idea how to two-step or any such nonsense. They were all very polite, though.
I noticed a guy on the dance floor who danced exactly like Ralph Kramden. If you have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQOLTU00-QY It was pretty cool.
Lisa's masher was there. I was familiar with her review, so I was really interested to get a look at this guy. A Lady Gaga song inexplicably came on. Wow, what a socially awkward bundle of spastic dance moves that masher was! Lisa and I watched as he made a mockery of rhythmic bodily movement by doing some sort of uncoordinated jumping jacks (Lisa's description). And then he would twist his waist around in a very awkwardly wide, slow, painful-looking circle. Lisa said he had told her that he was working on a stand-up routine to perform at Cap City, and she was convinced his seizure-like dance recital was part of it.
Well, once the three of us got to talking, I asked about his Cap City thing. He talked a bit about it and started spazzily dancing again, at which point I jokingly asked if his dance moves were a part of his act. He was a bit offended. Yeah, I have my social gaffes, too. The three of us ended up dancing together to "Sexy Back", and Mr. Masher kept getting in Lisa's way as she was trying to twirl around. Poor Lisa. But at the same time... Heh!
Oooooh.... drinks! Drinks are cheap here. I got two bloody marys for $3. And they were actually quite good, too. Small, but good. Spicy. Verra verra spicy.
I can't believe I actually had a good time at Dallas tonight. The country music was even tolerable. I'll probably go back someday, and I might even be tempted to learn how to two-step, just so I won't have to turn down so many dance invitations.
Oh, and that guy that Lisa wanted to introduce me to? He never showed, but I ran into some other Meetup friends and had fun until the bloody marys started singing me a lullabye.
I'm glad I no longer have to drive 200 miles on a boring stretch of highway to go to Dallas.